Vince and Howard's Infinite Playlist
by southpark33
Summary: A series of song drabbles about Vince and Howard and their relationship. Howince, obviously.
1. Walking Out of Stride

**Okay kiddies, this is going to be a series of Howince drabbles inspired by songs (hence the name of the fic). I tried to write actual full-length stories for a while, but every other paragraph was inspired by a song, so I decided to do this instead. Most of these will be from an established relationship point of view, but some will be about the boys getting together or admiring each other from afar. And the rating on this will eventually go up, just to warn you. Reviews are my heroin! And I am working on a big, epic story, so this will occupy my time when I have writers block on that fic. Oh yeah, and I don't own the Boosh or anything affiliated to it and I don't own any of the songs. Enjoy!**

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**Walking Out of Stride by Badly Drawn Boy**

_You and me could never hide  
To busy walking out of stride_

You and me, we could never hide  
To busy walking out of stride

Take 1 2 3 and 4 or 5  
People talking keeps us alive

Vince was never dull. He always caught the eyes of passersby, whether it be his clothes, or his hair, or his big blue eyes. Or maybe it was the bounce he had in his step, or the fact that he was practically made of candyfloss and sunshine. Whatever it was, he was always to stand out in the crowd and who people gravitated to, like moths to a bright light.

Now me, I was never one to attract any attention. I always just sort of blended into the background. I was used to being the pariah that everyone made fun of. It was all I ever knew. That was why I was so surprised when Vince started to call me his best mate. Why would someone like him want anything to do with someone like me? Sometimes it did seem like he saw me as a chore, but he always stuck by me. When I asked him to drop out of school to come work at the zoo with me, he did so without a second thought. He insisted on sharing a room with me when we moved to the flat above the Nabootique. He always called us the most dynamic of all duos, the best in the world because we were so different from each other. That's why the only time I ever did get attention was when I was with Vince. We couldn't help but stand out, an electro ponce hanging out with a jazz maverick. People whispered that we looked so different, seemed to be polar opposites, and wondered why we paled around together. Although it did annoy me at times, I didn't much care as long as Vince wasn't fazed. He was perfectly happy walking out of stride with me by my side. He seemed to thrive on their whispers, like it was just egging him on.

That was one reason that I fell in love with him. He wasn't ashamed to be seen with me. Most people are interested in me for about two minutes and then walk away. Vince told me that was also a reason for him falling in love with me. He was happy that he had found someone who would walk around with a borderline drag queen without being the least bit embarrassed. I was absolutely floored by this, not only because I couldn't think of one person who wouldn't want to be near Vince and the fact that he actually loved me back, but by the fact that he didn't care what I looked like, how I acted, or even that I listened to jazz. He didn't mind having a boyfriend who looked completely different than how he looked. We just can't help standing out in the crowds, especially now. When Vince grabs my hand while we're walking down the road, when he sits in my lap on a chair at one of those clubs he loves so much, or when he wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me, people always stop and stare, whisper to their friends about how surprised they were to see Vince Noir, King of the Mods "settle" for me of all people, how we could possibly be lovers. But we don't care. If anything, their talk fuels us, gives us amusement, and reminds us of how lucky we are that we both got up the balls to admit our feelings for each other. And I'll never tire of standing out and walking out of stride. Not as long as Vince is the one walking with me.


	2. Clothes Off!

**Okay people, this chapter has sexual content! Porn! Smut! You have been warned!!**

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**Clothes Off! by Gym Class Heroes**

_See here's the thing..._

We have to take our clothes off!  
We have to party all night!  
And we have to take our clothes off  
to have a good time!  
Oh no, no, no!

"Thank you ladies and gents, you guys are amazing!" Vince shouted into the crowd after a particularly successful gig. "Here's a little something to remember me by!" He lifted up his shirt all the way to the nipple and did a bit of lewd dancing, making the crowd go even wilder and lit a fire in Howard's stomach. Vince turned around and smiled at him, a smile that was meant for him and only him, telling him that he was proud of their gig. Lately they'd been having more and more good ones, mostly due to Vince and Howard's new boyfriend status which led to not as much bickering and more time for writing songs. But that was the last thing on Howard's mind as they went backstage. "Howard, that was genius!" Vince squealed as he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him.

"Yes, especially that bit at the end." Howard said in a husky voice, the one he knew made the younger man melt. Vince moaned as Howard's cool hands slipped under his shirt to run down his skin, which was hot and sweaty from the show. "Although it's a bit cruel to tease those people in the crowd with something they can't ever have."

"Oh really?" Vince said in his sexy, coy voice. "And why is that, darling?"

"Because you're all mine, Little Man." Howard growled, moving to grab Vince's arse. Vince brought their lips together in a searing kiss, quickly adding teeth and tongues in the mix. Vince gave a shaky sigh when Howard nibbled on his bottom lip and he could feel his hands moving to-

"Oh God, I didn't need to see that!" a lisping voice cried out, pulling the two lovers abruptly apart. Naboo stood there gaping at them and Bollo groaned in exasperation as he shielded his eyes. "Jesus Christ, we said we'd take the instruments home so you two could go have fun, not shag each other right in front of us!"

"All right, calm down Naboo! We were just kissing, not shagging!" Howard yelled, quite annoyed that they had been interrupted. Vince giggled and buried his head in his chest to hide his blushing. He breathed in his scent for a bit (warmth, cologne that he bought for him at Topshop, and Howard. Yum!). He looked back up at him with even more lust in his eyes.

"Let's go somewhere else, yeah?" he whispered, tracing his fingers along Howard's chest. Howard smiled and dragged him further backstage. They looked around until they spotted an empty dressing room. Howard barely had time to close the door before Vince jumped on him and wrapped his legs around his waist. He whimpered as Howard kissed and bit his way down his neck, leaving marks that would ruin his skin, but right now he really didn't care-

"OH MY GOD, THERE HE IS! IT'S THE VINCE NOIR!"

Vince jumped down off Howard to look at the screaming Camden girls that had ambushed him. "Do you mind?" he snapped. "Don't you see I'm a bit busy...getting busy?"

"Vince, can you sign my t-shirt?"

"Oh, I just can't believe it's really him!"

"Were you two just about to shag? Can I join in?"

"All right, we're leaving!" Vince grumbled, taking Howard's hand and leading him out. "Let's go to the toilets." he said into his ear as they made their way through the loud club.

"Vince, this is just plain crude." Howard said as Vince locked the door to the men's toilets.

"I know Howard, but fuck, I can't help it!" he moaned pitifully. "I need you so bad, my dick is turning blue over here!" he breathed while pressing their bodies together. "Please, just this once!" he begged, bringing their crotches together to create a delicious friction. "I know you want it too." he whispered in Howard's ear. It was then that he realized that Vince was practically humping his leg in order to get some relief. Howard groaned and swooped in-

"Oi, you there, go screw your bird somewhere else! I can't have people locking the doors to the loo, only I've got the keys!" a janitor yelled at them, waving the keys in their faces. Howard could have screamed in frustration. Vince really did as he pushed past the janitor with Howard in tow out the door.

"At least I'm getting some action, you stupid twat!" he yelled at him. He clutched onto Howard and wrapped himself around him like a vine. "Fuck, Howard, fuck..."

"Ah, damn it!" Howard cried, smacking his forehead. "We're such idiots!"

Vince cocked his head much like a baby bird would. "What are you on about?"

"The van! We forgot about the van!" Howard gasped.

"Shit, that's right, Naboo took the carpet!" Vince shouted.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Howard growled. Vince shivered and pulled him out of the club. He looked around frantically before spotting the van and practically running over to it and pulling Howard's arm off. Howard fiddled with the keys and unlocked the car with lightning speed. Vince climbed into the backseat and pulled Howard on top of him as he was closing the door. Vince moaned as he knew he was finally going to be able to ravish his jazz maverick. He wasted no time getting Howard's shirt and pants off because so much time had been wasted already. Howard seemed to agree as he practically ripped Vince's skin-tight t-shirt off of him and used all his strength to pry off his tight drainpipes. Vince moaned in relief as his erection was free from the tight pants and he barely noticed when Howard pulled off his boots and kicked off his own. Their hands were groping at anything and everything they could reach, lips were licked and sucked and bitten, and Vince was sweating and panting like he had just run a marathon under Howard's ministrations. Howard had moved up to his chest and was leaving love bites, intentionally avoiding Vince's arousal to tease him.

"Fuck Howard, get on with it, I'm not gonna last long!" Vince panted. "Please, please, just fuck me! I need you inside of me please-" Howard groaned and silenced him with a searing kiss to stop his babbling. If Vince kept talking like that he was going to cum right then and there. He pulled Vince's boxers off to see the electro's impressive erection and took his off as well. Just then he remembered something and started to look around the car and through their clothes. "Look in my jeans pocket, the right one." Vince panted. Howard reached in to find some lip gloss. He squirted half the tube onto his fingers and pressed one against Vince's entrance, making the younger man cry out and squirm so much that Howard could barely move his finger in and out.

"Fuck it Howard, just do it!" Vince practically screamed. Howard couldn't agree more and used the rest of the lip gloss to cover his cock before plunging into him, both of them moaning as he did so. Vince was moaning uncontrollably in a mixture of pain and pleasure, his hardness now straining against his belly. Howard thrusted in and out faster and faster and faster, rougher than he usually went. He leaned down and started to suck hard on a pulse point on Vince's neck. Vince couldn't even see straight at this point, his hands going to clutch at Howard's hair and wrapping his arms around his waist. Vince just about went blind when Howard reached in between them and grabbed his length and started stroking him. He screamed and moaned all at the same time as he came hard in Howard's hand, Howard following a moment after with a loud, drawn-out moan. Vince took Howard's hand into his, shaking like a leaf, and licking the cum off it until all the fingers were clean, practically making them both hard all over again. Howard collapsed beside him and Vince immediately wrapped himself around him like a human blanket.

"I...I'd say that was worth the wait." Howard panted. Vince attempted to laugh but it came out as more of a gasp of air. He looked at the windows and smiled.

"Look at that babes!" he said giddily. He looked up and saw that the windows were all steamed up like they were in a sauna. "It's like that part in Titanic!" Vince laughed, drawing a heart on the glass. "Love you." he told Howard cheekily.

"Love you too, Little Man." he said back, pulling him down for a kiss. Vince sighed and laid back down on the seats, which were now slightly sticky. He grimaced.

"Now we'll have to clean the car, unless we want Naboo to voodoo us." he sighed.

"Yeah, but before then..." Howard reached his hand down and Vince's eyes rolled back in ecstasy. They were going to be here for a while.


	3. Negative

**This is another dirty chapter. And this is a real song, I swear to God! It's from Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, the namesake of this story (read the book and see the movie, they are both amazing).**

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**Negative by Project Jenny, Project Jan**

_Blah, blah, blah blady blah,_

_My baby said just talk to the thumb._

_How could I ever have been so dumb?_

_And now I can't even get me some!_

_Now I can't even get me some!_

_I feel like the crack head stupid bum._

_I took some pictures of my girl LOOP LOOP!_

_She's looking too good, like WOO-HOO!_

_I got her lying down on the floor,_

_making love with the bathroom floor._

_I even got that bitch down on all fours!_

_She's making my dick all LOOP LOOP LOO!_

_I always knew my girl was kinda kinky._

_She's always looking for new ways to freak me._

_She even let me put it in the stinky!_

_She's always talking about my winky!_

_So last night we're all alone._

_I said "Hey baby, let's make some porno."_

_She said "No, I ain't no ho,_

_but I'll pose for you if you blow your load."_

Howard was sitting down in the shop watching a long BBC documentary when Vince came back downstairs from his break (even though it was almost closing time). _"Right where I left him." _he thought, smirking. He walked up to him quietly and hugged him from behind. "Hey there, love. Watcha up to?" Howard smiled and took his feet off the counter, inviting Vince to sit in his lap. He happily accepted, plopping himself down and wrapping his arms around the larger man.

"Nothing much, Little Man. It's time to shut up shop, you know. Want to watch the rest of this with me?" Vince fiddled with the buttons on Howard's shirt and hummed.

"Nah, I can find something more interesting to do." he laughed, kissing Howard playfully. "Anything's better than one of your documentaries."

"I'll have you know that my documentaries are ten times better than your cartoons, sir!" Howard jived back with a smile. "So, what would you rather do?"

"Well, actually I was thinking about something." Vince told him, still fiddling with the buttons. "I was thinking of making something that'll remind you of me if we're ever apart." Howard frowned.

"Vince, we've barely been apart for ten years."

"Yeah, I know, but what about times when you go up to Leeds to visit your family? Or if I'm gonna go clubbing and you don't want to go or one of us is on a trip with a band or something?"

"All right, I guess you're right." Howard sighed, stopping Vince from rambling. "What were you thinking of?"

Vince smiled. Howard was far from a virgin now that they were together, but he was still adorably oblivious at times. He strattled him and pressed himself flush against his chest. "Just something that will remind you of being with me." he said in a low whisper, kissing his neck. "You know, really _being _with me." he said wickedly into his ear and biting it for good measure. Howard tensed up a bit but Vince could tell that he was interested from the hardness he could feel growing against his leg.

"Are...are you suggesting we make a porn film?" Howard stammered.

Vince laughed. "Nah, I'm not that kinky. But I'm not above posing for photos. Are you still trying to build up a photography profile?"

"Well, yes, but-"

"Then I'll model for you." Vince growled, locking their lips together. Howard groaned and tried to press Vince against him even more, but he pulled away. "Not so fast. I need to get ready for my close-up." he said, winking. "You close up shop and get your camera ready." He slithered off of Howard's lap and walked up the stairs. Howard just sat there for a moment in a haze and then practically sprinted out of the shop to bring down the shutters and switch the shop sign to "closed".

_So she goes to bed and gets herself together._

_I get the camera ready, take off my sweater._

_I get buck naked just to get her into the mood_

_and make sure I got the camera full._

_After what seems to be about an hour_

_she comes out fresh like she was in the shower,_

_wearing that nightie I got her in the bower_

_and on her CUNT she's wearing a flower!_

Vince was still in the bathroom when Howard had shut up shop. He stood awkwardly waiting for Vince, holding his camera. He'd never actually done a proper photo shoot before, much less one with his probably naked boyfriend as a model. His eyes widened at that thought and he looked down at himself. He was still in his clothes, shoes, socks, and he even still had his hat on. That would have to be a mood-killer. He took off his hat and threw it across the room and quickly took off all of his clothes. Oh God, was that overkill? What the hell was the proper etiquette for taking erotic pictures of your significant other? He decided to put his boxers back on. Was that enough? He tousled up his hair to mess it up a bit. He remembered Vince saying that he liked it like that. His heart skipped a beat when he heard the bathroom door open and when he turned around his breath caught in his throat. Vince was standing in the doorway with his hands on either sides of the doorframe. He was wearing the skin-tight red boxers that he had bought him for his birthday (after he got up the nerve to actually go into a sex shop) and he had that sexy little smirk on his face. He'd taken off most of his make-up but had smudged some of it around his face to make it look like he'd been rolling around on the bed for a bit. It even looked like he wetted down his hair a little to make it look sweaty.

"You...you look absolutely fucking gorgeous." Howard stammered. Vince smiled and looked him up and down.

"You're not so bad yourself." he purred. "Now, where do you want me?"

Howard thought a moment. "Lay down on the bed." Vince nodded and lay down on his back. "Now, put one arm behind your head and one on your stomach." Vince smiled as he put his hands into place. "No, not like that Vince, not all the way behind your head, just close to it."

"Ooh, I love it when you take charge!" Vince teased, moving his hand. Howard snapped the picture just in time to catch the little smile on his face.

"Perfect." Howard breathed. "Now just freestyle."

"What do you mean?"

"Just do whatever you want. You know how to look sexy for me." Howard grinned. Vince's pupils dilated a bit and he lifted up his hips, rubbing his chest. Howard kept snapping pictures as Vince did the things he knew Howard loved, like biting his lower lip and squirming about a bit, putting the tips of his long fingers in his mouth, and using his thumbs to pull down the boxers ever so slightly. Howard was getting into his stride now that he could see that this was turning Vince on, a bulge visible in the boxers, and he was just as turned on as he was, his initial apprehension a thing of the past. They were both disappointed when the film ran out in the camera. "Don't you move, Little Man." Howard warned as he saw Vince shifting to the edge of the bed. "I've got some more ideas." Vince smiled and relaxed against the pillows again. Once Howard filled up the camera again he leaned toward Vince's ear. "We're going to make this look even more realistic." he whispered, making Vince shiver and squirm his hips. Without warning Howard bit down on the juncture of Vince's throat and neck, sucking hard and really sinking his teeth into the pale flesh. Vince moaned in a mixture of pain and pleasure, moving his hands to the back of Howard's head and neck. All too soon he pulled away and Vince whimpered partly from the loss of contact and partly from the lingering pain from the hickey. "Lean your head back and show off the mark." Howard said huskily. Vince did as he was told, his eyes closing and his adam's apple bobbing from letting out a big sigh. "Perfect." Howard growled, snapping the photo. "Now start moaning."

Vince's now dark blue eyes opened. "What?"

"Photography is all about capturing a moment, Vince." he explained, eerily calmly. "I want to get a shot of you when it looks like you're about to have an orgasm." Vince smiled when he saw the bright-red blush appearing on his face, betraying his cool tone.

"Don't be so bashful. This is one of the most erotic things I've ever experienced in my life." he said quietly, as if he was afraid that the air the words were being carried on would break. Howard smirked and lifted the camera to his eye again. Vince went straight into action. "Mmm..." he moaned, running his hands down his stomach. "Oh..." He let himself slip into a fantasy of him and Howard together, imagining the heat of his body against him. He bunched up the sheets in his hands and moaned over and over very loudly, much like a porn star, as Howard's cock twitched and he snapped pictures like his life depended on it.

"Touch yourself." Howard growled. Vince whimpered gratefully and reached his hand into his boxers and pulled out his erection. "Take them all the way off." Howard growled again, getting more aggressive. Vince brought his knees up and threw the red material across the room. He resumed stroking his cock, almost sick with pleasure. Howard was finding it increasingly hard to focus on taking pictures and Vince noticed this.

"Howard, that's enough pictures, I want the real thing!" he panted. With that, Howard put the camera on the floor and crushed their lips together. It was all a mess of teeth and tongues as Vince raked his fingernails down Howard's back. He flipped them over and started kissing down Howard's chest. Howard let out a moan as loud as Vince's when he felt a hot mouth wrap around his cock and he saw Vince's raven-haired head moving up and down.

_And after that we got three kinds of busy_

_on the rug,_

_in the den,_

_and once in the kitchen,_

_and one more time just to quench the itching._

_Doing all the things that we'd been wishing!_

Vince and Howard collapsed once again onto the pillows. Howard pulled the smaller man close to him and realized that he was trembling. "Are you all right?" Vince looked up at him, his baby blue eyes shining.

"What are you talking about? I'm fucking fantastic!" he slurred, exhausted and drunk off of pleasure. "Congratulations Howard, you are the first person to completely drain Vince Noir, King of the Mods." Howard smiled smugly and kissed his forehead.

"I can't wait to get those pictures back." He mumbled. Since the first round they had taken a lot more pictures, ones more graphic than others.

"Me neither." Vince giggled, his eyelids drooping dangerously.

"Come on now sweetheart, go to sleep now." Howard said soothingly, stroking his hair. Vince settled on the older man's broad chest and made himself comfortable. "Wait, Howard, how are we going to get the photos developed? They're not exactly something you pop over to the local Dixon's to develop."

"Vince, think about it. Who do we know likes to hide in bushes and take pictures of people, say Bainbridge, and develop them for his own pleasure later?"

Vince smiled. "Fossil! Howard, you're a genius! Cheers." he said just before he drifted off to sleep.

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_Two days later_

Naboo was just waking up and putting on his robes when he went to check for the morning mail. He spotted a rather large package labeled "Joe's High Quality Exotic Pictures". He saw Howard's name on it and, figuring it was pictures of stuff out in the woods, he opened it out of curiosity. "What the…oh, eww, eww, EWWWWWWWWW!" he shrieked.

"I'll take those." Vince said calmly, plucking the photos out of his hands.


	4. Nicest Thing

**This is my first real attempt at angst. I used one of my favorite songs, so I hope it turned out okay!**

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**Nicest Thing by Kate Nash**

_All I know is that you're so nice  
You're the nicest thing I've seen  
I wish that we could give it a go  
See if we could be something_

Vince's heart hurt. It wasn't often that he was sad, so when he was it exhausted him to the core. He had taken a sickie today, which he regretted now because all it did was give him time to think. He thought a lot about Howard. Like about how nice he was, and how much he meant to him. He wondered about what it would feel like to be with Howard, kissing him, falling asleep on his chest, to know that Howard loved him back. He sighed and turned onto his side in his bed.

_I wish I was your favourite girl  
I wish you thought I was the reason you are in the world  
I wish my smile was your favourite kind of smile  
I wish the way that I dressed was your favourite kind of style  
I wish you couldn't figure me out  
But you always wanna know what I was about  
I wish you'd hold my hand when I was upset  
I wish you'd never forget the look on my face when we first met  
I wish you had a favourite beauty spot that you loved secretly  
'Cause it was on a hidden bit that nobody else could see_

_Basically, I wish that you loved me  
I wish that you needed me  
I wish that you knew when I said two sugars  
Actually, I meant three_

_I wish that without me your heart would break  
I wish that without me you'd be spending the rest of your nights awake  
I wish that without me you couldn't eat  
I wish I was the last thing on your mind before you went to sleep_

He knew that it was selfish of him to think like this, but he wanted to be the reason Howard woke up in the morning. He wished that the highlight of his day was to hang out with him in the shop. He wished that Howard loved the way he dressed as much as the people at the clubs did. He wished that Howard loved him as much as he loved him. Ever since that damn party just looking at Howard tugged at his heartstrings. It hurt to see him because he knew that all that he wished for would never come true. Howard was mad about that jazz wench now. He had said to him that he ruined his chance with finally finding someone when he realized that he had paid the girl to come to the party.

All he wanted was to see Howard happy. If he couldn't have him to himself, he at least wanted him to find love and be happy. Vince let the tears that were building up behind his eyes fall down his face. He'd never been in love before and he had no idea it could hurt this much. He didn't know what to do. All he knew was that Howard was the best thing in his life and he really wished that they could be something more.

_Look, all I know  
Is that you're the nicest thing I've ever seen  
And I wish that we could see  
If we could be something_


	5. When the Day Met the Night

**When the Day Met the Night by Panic at the Disco**

_When the moon fell in love with the sun  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night_

When the sun found the moon  
She was drinking tea in a garden  
Under the green umbrella trees  
In the middle of summer

_Twelve Years Ago_

It was Howard's first day at this new godforsaken school. It was recess and he had ended up all alone in a corner of the schoolyard. The other kids had already made it clear that he wasn't welcome by stuffing him into a locker and painting his moustache green because it reminded them of a caterpillar. It took him twenty minutes out of his recess to get all of the paint out. Not that he minded, anyway. He just wanted to get away. But luckily no one seemed to notice him. They were all crowded around some other boy. Or at least he thought it was a boy. No, it had to be a boy because he was wearing shorts with his uniform. He was bright and animated, with the bluest eyes Howard had ever seen. He could tell why people liked him so much. He had sort of a magnetic pull, like you wanted him to be your friend. He was also quite beautiful. He squirmed a little at finding another boy attractive, but he really was. He looked like a walking china doll. His blue eyes stood out from creamy white skin and he had glossy black hair and ruby red lips, like someone had painted them on him. Maybe he would notice him. Fat chance, but he could always dream.

_When the moon found the sun  
He looked like he was barely hanging on  
But her eyes saved his life  
In the middle of summer _

"Vince, will you come to my party on Saturday? We're gonna play spin the bottle!" a girl asked Vince coyly.

"Will do, love." He smiled and kissed her cheek and making her go comatose. He lay back against the gate of the school and sighed. Normally he would have been more of his sunshine child self, but he was a bit distracted. His eyes kept going over to the new boy who was sitting all alone in the corner under a tree. He didn't know his name or anything, just that he'd taken a beating all day. He hadn't taken part in it because even though this new boy could use some root boost, he seemed...rather nice. Normally he wouldn't go near a pariah, but he felt strangely drawn to him. "Hey Leroy, you know anything about that chap over there?"

"Yeah, his name's Howard, or Harold, or something. He's a right foul git, he is. Total loser. Wanna go beat him up?"

"No. I think I'll go talk to him."

Leroy looked amazed. "Vince, you're way better than him. You don't need to waste your time."

"I'm not wasting my time. I'm doing what I want with my time." With that he left Leroy open mouthed and wide eyed. He made his way over to the boy and plopped down next to him. "All right, there?" The boy just looked at him like he was amazed someone was even talking to him. He looked utterly pitiful and Vince smiled, fighting the urge to just hug him and squeeze the life out of him. "Oi, cat got your tongue?" he laughed.

"N...no, sir. You just caught me off guard is all." he stammered.

Vince giggled. "The name's Vince, you don't need to add the sir. How about you?"

"Howard...Howard Moon."

In the middle of summer  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer, summer, summer  
All was golden when the day met the night

_So he said, "Would it be all right  
If we just sat and talked for a little while  
If in exchange for your time  
I give you this smile?"_

_So she said, "That's okay  
As long as you can make a promise  
Not to break my little heart  
Or leave me all alone in the summer."_

"Howard. I like that name, it suits you." Vince said, smiling. "I heard you had a tough morning." Howard looked down to his feet and hid his face. "Hey, it's okay." Vince soothed. "It's your first day. People will get used to you eventually."

"That's easy for you to say." Howard said jokingly. "I've been here for less than a day and I know you're the most popular kid around." Vince looked down at his feet as he realized the truth in his words.

"Well...I like you. You seem real nice." Vince said to him. Howard looked like he just had a stroke.

"Really?"

"Really!"

Howard smiled and Vince's stomach did a little flip for reasons that he wasn't quite sure of. "Hey, do you think I could hang around with you? Like, you know...be your friend?"

"You know, you don't have to ask me. Just because I'm popular doesn't mean that I hand-pick all of my friends." Vince laughed. "Besides, I've already deemed you worthy of being my friend." he joked. They both shared a laugh. "Just don't abandon me when you get more friends, yeah?"

"I won't!" Howard said faithfully.

_Well, he was just hanging around  
Then he fell in love  
And he didn't know how  
But he couldn't get out  
Just hanging around  
Then he fell in love_

_Five years ago_

"_Hey Small Eyes, I'm gonna miss you up in college! Even your damn sactting! I'll write you if I remember!- Vince." _Howard closed the old yearbook and sighed. He really missed Vince more than he thought he would now that he went off to college. Vince probably didn't miss him at all and was having a blast. He turned off the light next to his bed and tried to sleep, but he just couldn't get comfortable. Why did it have to happen? When did it happen? How could he have fallen in love with an electro poof? He was vain, a bit dumb, and more than a bit mean at times, but he was hopelessly in love. He turned the light back on and went to the phone. He'd thought this over for a while now and now he knew that he wanted to-needed to-ask him. He dialed the number and hoped that Vince was still awake.

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Vince was cutting the fake hair on a rubber doll head. He had given her a rather brilliant mohawk and soft-waves mix for his hair styling class and he was rather proud of it. The phone rang and interrupted him from his thoughts. He frowned and looked at the clock. It was almost midnight. Who would be calling at this hour? He picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"_Hey, I'm looking for a certain electro-poof?"_

Vince beamed from head to toe. "Hey Howard, what's up?"

"_Nothing much. I'm sure that you're having a much better time than I am."_

"I always have a better time than you, Howard." he said cheekily. He was happy to hear Howard's voice. He missed him a lot. His heart hurt from not seeing him. God, how could he let himself fall in love? One-night stands were so easy. This whole "love" thing was harder. And how did he end up falling in love with a jazz maverick. He was dull, a bit arrogant, and seriously lacked style, but he was hopelessly in love. He sighed. "So, what's on your mind?"

"_Well, I've started working at this place I think you would like. It's called Zooniverse."_

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_Present Day_

"Taking a trip down memory lane, are you?" Howard asked Vince. The younger man was currently sprawled out on their bed looking at old yearbooks. Vince smiled at him.

"Mmm-hmm. Don't know why, but I was feeling strangely nostalgic. You've gotten a lot more handsome." Howard smiled and sat down next to Vince, giving him a small kiss. Vince whined and leaned in for more, but Howard pulled away.

"You insult Howard Moon, you don't get a proper kiss." he teased.

"I didn't! I meant that you've gotten even more handsome from when I first met you." he whined.

"Oh, well in that case..." he leaned in and gave Vince a deep kiss, shoving the yearbooks aside and pushing him backwards on the bed. They kissed lazily for a while before coming up for air.

"It is weird how much we've changed though, isn't it?" Howard mused.

"We haven't changed that much. Basically we're exactly the same, only we shag now."

"Oh, so I'm just a shag to you?" Howard pouted.

"You know better than that. Remember what I did as soon as I arrived in Zooniverse?" Vince giggled.

"You shoved your tongue down my throat and I almost died of fright. I was still in shock that you even came back to me, much less that you felt that way about me."

"The feeling was mutual." Vince said dreamily, nuzzling his face into Howard's neck.

_In the middle of summer  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night  
Summer, summer, summer_

When the moon fell in love with the sun  
All was golden in the sky  
All was golden when the day met the night


	6. Very Loud

**Sorry for the long wait on the updates, but I've been so busy lately! So I apologize. I'm not so sure about the second one, but this one I've had in my head for a while, so I like it a lot. Reviews are love! **

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**Very Loud by The Shout Out Louds**

_And I wanna build buildings high for you  
But the costs, my god, the costs I can't afford you  
But I always choose another way  
And this is why this love can't stay_

And I wanna change, change the way we always have  
And to make different plans and try not to make this sad  
But I always choose another way  
And this is why this love can't stay

Little by little  
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)  
Why

But I wanna smell, smell the way you do  
And to wear those clothes, the clothes your friends do  
But I always choose another way  
So this is why this love can't stay

Little by little  
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)  
Why  
And I know that it started somewhere  
And I really like it now, Yes I really like it now  
Like it now

Howard couldn't believe that he let Vince drag him to one of these goddamn clubs that he loved so much. He'd been here before, many times actually. It was always that way. Vince would always use those huge blue puppy-dog eyes and beg him to go and he always ended up in the corner while Vince partied with his friends. Sometimes he wondered why Vince wasted his time on him. Why did he want him there? Not that he was complaining. He just couldn't ever let Vince know that he wasn't complaining. He loved being around Vince, no matter how much he seemed to complain about it. He loved all of him. But he knew he never stood a chance. He wished, really wished that he could be like his friends so that he wasn't such an embarrassment to him. Oh, fuck it all. He put down his beer that he didn't really bother drinking and went out to the patio for people who were tired of the constant loud music, although it was rarely used. Unbeknownst to him a pair of bright blue eyes saw him leaving the club.

_Little by little  
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)  
Why  
And I know that it started somewhere  
And I really like it now, Yes I really like it now  
Like it now_

See I got a plan  
A plan to get us out of here  
If we only can use your money then we can definitely get out of here  
You see I always screw it up someway  
This is why this love can't stay

_Little by little  
You gonna hear me cry (Hear me cry)  
Why  
And I know that it started somewhere  
And I really like it now, Yes I really like it now  
Like it now_

He liked the way it was now. He liked being Vince's friend. He knew it was more than he deserved. I mean, Howard wasn't exactly in Vince's league, you know? Friendship was more than he could ask for. He couldn't imagine what Vince would do if he actually told him how he felt. Well, he could fathom that he would laugh until he threw up just like he did in the tundra and that he would gladly step all over his heart with his chelsea boots, but...what if he did something worse? Like leave? He'd rather have Vince never know how he felt and stay with him than know and leave. God, he really needed to stop. He couldn't stay in love with him. It was a hopeless dream. Maybe he should give that jazz girl a ring. She seemed nice enough.

"Howard?"

He turned around sharply to see Vince right behind him. His cheeks were flushed and his forehead was glistening from dancing in the club. God, he looked beautiful. And was that...concern on his face? "Vince, don't sneak up on me like that! I keep telling you not to do that!"

He smiled sheepishly. "Sorry Howard. I just wanted to see why you left."

"I'm surprised you even noticed." he scoffed, a little more coldly than he meant to. Sure enough Vince seemed to sulk a bit, not unlike a flower wilting.

"Of course I noticed. You're my best mate." He walked closer to Howard and leaned against the banister. He closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in the night air. "I'm sorry. You can leave if you want, Howard. I know you don't like places like this, but I just like having you near me."

Howard frowned. "What do you mean, Little Man?"

Vince sighed. "All right, I'm actually gonna play the part of a deep thinker for a minute so you'd better pay attention."

"Oh, I will. I know that if I blink I might miss it." Howard said playfully, earning him a small smile and a shove from Vince. "Okay, what have you got on your mind, Vince?"

He swallowed and just stood there for a moment. "My mates are right shallow, Howard. Well, you already know that. You're really the only person who's actually cared about me for real, you know what I mean? And when I'm by myself with those guys I feel...vulnerable...weak. But when you're there, I feel better because I know if something happens, you won't just run away like they will. You'll help me. Just like you always do."

Howard was at a loss of words. To say he was touched was an understatement. Vince looked up at him with a look of vulnerability that Howard had never seen in a long time and something else he'd never seen in Vince-nerves.

"Th...thanks, Vince. That means a lot, it really does." he finally stammered. Vince smiled and looked down shyly for a second, then without warning wrapped his arms around him and buried his face into his chest. For once, Howard wasn't repelled by the touch of another. He wrapped his arms around Vince's shoulders and had to let a smile creep onto his face because of the almost childish way that Vince had curled up against him.

"Sorry Howard. I don't mean to be so shallow and be mean to you, I just..." he stopped and clenched his fists together and stopped, almost like he was choking on his words. He shook his head and started again. "Howard...that time in the tundra, when you said you loved me...did you really mean that?"

"What?"

"Because I thought it was a joke." Vince blurted out. "I...I thought you were delirious from the cold and so I laughed at you. And on the roof at the party, I thought someone slipped you something 'cause someone like you could never love someone like me." He pushed his way out of Howard's arms and sunk to the floor. "That's why I've become meaner since we left the zoo. I didn't want you to get too close so I wouldn't say something stupid. And that's why I invited that jazzy girl to the party, because I wanted you to find someone who was just like you, so you would be happy..." he trailed off and tucked his head between his knees. Howard crouched down next to him, shaking slightly at what Vince had said.

"Vince...are you saying that you love me?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly. "You're in love with _me_? Why?"

Vince looked up, looking crushed and his eyes getting wet. Howard realized that he'd taken it the wrong way. ""I...I'm sorry Howard, I just needed to get it out." he stammered and stood up. To his surprise Howard pulled him back down.

"I didn't mean it like that." he said quietly. "I meant that you could get someone better. Why would someone as...as amazing as you love me? The loudest, brightest person in the room should be with someone more worthy of his attention."

Vince let the tears run down his face. "Howard, you are worthy of me. If someone is unworthy, it's me for treating you badly while you were always so nice to me. I love you."

Howard smiled, a big, bright smile that Vince had never seen before and he smiled back, not a cocky smile, but a genuine smile. Before either of them knew it their lips were pressed together in the sweetest kiss that they had ever experienced. That jazzy wench or anyone that Vince had ever been with couldn't compare. Vince wrapped his arms around Howard's neck and Howard rubbed his hands down Vince's back. The kiss was warm and sweet and everything they had ever wanted. Without really knowing it they ended up sprawled out on the deck, Vince underneath Howard with his head being cushioned from the hard deck by Howard's hands behind his head.

"Oi, check it out, Vince is off his tits!" The broke apart with groans of disappointment and looked up to see one of Vince's female companions. "All right, come on Electro Boy. You asked us to stop you when you started to get off with someone ugly. Up you get, come one. I'll let you snog me if you want." she said with a stupid little smirk on her face.

"Fuck off, Talia. I'm not drunk and he's not ugly. And sorry, but if I snogged you I think that I would have to have my stomach pumped. You're way out of Howard's league." Howard didn't bother hiding his snicker as she pouted and ran off inside the club. "It's true, though." Vince laughed, looking back at Howard. They broke out into laughter and soon became breathless.

"We look like right idiots, don't we?" Howard asked Vince.

"Probably, but I really don't care." he answered. "Let's get out of here, yeah? I don't really think you would fancy losing your virginity on the patio of a club." Howard went wide-eyed and mute as Vince jumped up and grabbed his hand. But he quickly regained his composure as Vince slid his hands down his chest and pulled him in for another kiss.

_And when we started, yeah we started from there  
And you were very loud yes you were very loud  
But I really like that, very loud, like that yeah you were very loud _


	7. Hey There Delilah

**Hey There Delilah by The Plain White T's**

_Hey there Delilah  
What's it like in New York City?  
I'm a thousand miles away  
But girl, tonight you look so pretty  
Yes, you do  
Times Square can't shine as bright as you  
I swear it's true_

That ridiculous song that Howard had heard a thousand times was playing from inside the MTV store so loud that he could hear it out here, Times Square for God's sake! But it seemed oddly appropriate under the circumstances. It had only been five days and he missed Vince more than anything. Vince and his electro-boy style could show up all of the lights in this entire city.

_**Almost a week earlier...**_

_Vince handed Howard his suitcase while they were waiting for the taxi that would take Howard to the airport. He wrapped his arms around him tightly. "Do you have to go?"_

"_Unfortunately, yes." Howard sighed. "I'm sorry, Vince."_

"_Don't say that." Vince scolded when he pulled away. "It's not your fault some uncle that you didn't even know died. Besides, it sounds like he left you something in his will. Ka-ching!"_

"_Vince, that's terrible!" Howard laughed."Although we could use some money. I'm still mad at Naboo, you know." Vince nodded in understanding. Naboo had refused to give them a bonus in their pay so that they could afford to buy Vince a plane ticket. He said that he wasn't letting go of his best shopkeeper. They heard a honk outside._

"_Time to go." Vince said sadly, kissing Howard throughly._

_**Hey there Delilah  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice  
It's my disguise  
I'm by your side**_

_**Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
What you do to me**_

"_It's only for about a week, Vince. I won't be long. And I'll call you every day, I promise."_

"_Yeah, but...we haven't been apart that long since we've known each other, much less since we've become an item."_

"_I know, but you'll be okay. I'll always be with you, remember that Little Man."_

_**Hey there Delilah  
I know times are getting hard  
But just believe me, girl  
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar  
We'll have it good  
We'll have the life we knew we would  
My word is good**_

Hey there Delilah  
I've got so much left to say  
If every simple song I wrote to you  
Would take your breath away, I'd write it all  
Even more in love with me you'd fall  
We'd have it all

Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me

Vince thought the words over in his head for what must have been the thousandth time since Howard had left. He was watching the telly with Bollo and was wearing one of Howard's old shirts. It reached his thighs and drowned his thin form, but he liked it. It was comfortable and smelled of him. He missed him a lot. Naboo came walking in to see what they were watching and Vince turned away from him.

"Oh, come on Vince, stop it!" he moaned. "You haven't talked to me for two days now! You weren't this torn up when he first left!"

"Well that was just the first couple of days! Now I miss him more than ever." he pouted, burying his face into the collar of the shirt. "It's like getting drunk, the last couple of hours are the worst." Naboo shrugged, beaten because he really did know how much that sucked.

_A thousand miles seems pretty far  
But they've got planes and trains and cars  
I'd walk to you if I had no other way  
Our friends would all make fun of us  
And we'll just laugh along because  
We know that none of them have felt this way_

Delilah, I can promise you  
That by the time that we get through  
The world will never ever be the same  
And you're to blame

_Hey there Delilah  
You be good and don't you miss me  
Two more years and you'll be done with school  
And I'll be making history like I do  
You'll know it's all because of you  
We can do whatever we want to  
Hey there Delilah  
Here's to you  
This one's for you_

"I don't see what the big deal is." Naboo said quietly. "You know he's coming back, so why are you so upset?"

"Do you know what it's like to be in love and to be away from the person who's the other half of your heart and soul?"

"...No."

"Then you can't say anything." Vince told him.

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"You pining for your lost love again, little brother?" Howard turned away from the window to see his older sister Lilly smiling smartly at him.

"Easy for you to say. Your husband got to come with you!" Howard pouted.

"Aww, Howard, you know I didn't mean it. You're so cute when you're mad." she soothed. He relented and smiled. Lilly had a way of calming everyone around her. "I am happy for you, you know. I always did like Vince." she said cheerily, sitting down on Howard's bed. "He's pretty."

"You mean handsome, don't you? He is a man."

"No, I mean pretty." she assured him. "And I'm still not sure what gender he is." They shared a laugh while Howard kicked her off his bed. "Have you called him and told him you're coming home early? And that you've inherited a nice little sum of money?"

"No, but don't worry, I can never wait to call him." She nodded her head and walked out of his room. He looked at the clock. It was 11:00 pm. Just about 11:00 am back home, so Vince should be waking up. He picked up his cell phone and dialed the number to Vince's phone. He suppressed a laugh when he'd barely gotten past the first ring and Vince picked up the phone.

"_Hey."_

"Hey."

_Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
Oh, it's what you do to me  
What you do to me_


	8. Big Rock Candy Mountain

**Sorry for the long wait on the updates, I've been smashed lately! Smashed as in busy, not drunk. Most of the time...anyway, this drabble is based on an old hobo anthem that's been around for decades in the south, where I live. If you've seen "O Brother, Where Art Thou?" then you might be familiar with it. My grandfather used to sing it to me before I went to sleep. It's supposed to convey the hobo idea of paradise. Not exactly what you think of when you think of the Boosh, but I think it worked. Tell me in a review.**

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**Big Rock Candy Mountain sung by Harry McClintock (written over a century ago)**

_One evening as the sun went down  
And the jungle fires were burning,  
Down the track came a hobo hiking,  
And he said, "Boys, I'm not turning  
I'm headed for a land that's far away  
Beside the crystal fountains  
So come with me, we'll go and see  
The Big Rock Candy Mountains"_

In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,  
There's a land that's fair and bright,  
Where the handouts grow on bushes  
And you sleep out every night  
Where the boxcars all are empty  
And the sun shines every day  
On the birds and the bees  
And the cigarette trees  
The lemonade springs  
Where the bluebird sings  
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains

Howard woke to the sensation to a familiar set of lips upon his before he even opened his eyes. He smiled into the kiss and opened his eyes to see the giant blue orbs that Vince called eyes, slightly hidden behind his bedhead fringe. "Morning, Love."

Vince sighed in contentment at the pet name and stretched out across the pillows. "Morning, Howard." he yawned and curled back up against him. Howard looked at the clock and saw that it was only eight in the morning. "What are you doing up so early? Usually you're comatose until at least ten."

"Yeah, but I had a dream!" Vince said with a giddy little smile on his face. "It was a really nice dream and I just needed to tell you about it!" Howard chuckled and kissed him on the top of his head. He thought it was adorable when Vince let his childish side come out.

"All right, Little Man. Just what was this fantastic dream all about?" Vince hummed and closed his eyes, remembering the dream.

_In the Big Rock Candy Mountains  
All the cops have wooden legs  
And the bulldogs all have rubber teeth  
And the hens lay soft-boiled eggs  
The farmers' trees are full of fruit  
And the barns are full of hay  
Oh I'm bound to go  
Where there ain't no snow  
Where the rain don't fall  
The winds don't blow  
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains _

"I was walking down a dirt road surrounded by all these genius tye-dye flowers. And there were little animals walking around and they told me that the road would take me to paradise."

Howard shook his head. "A bit weird, but then again so are all your dreams."

"Oh, it's not over yet!" Vince said cheekily.

_In the Big Rock Candy Mountains  
You never change your socks  
And the little streams of alcohol  
Come trickling down the rocks  
The brakemen have to tip their hats  
And the railway bulls are blind  
There's a lake of stew  
And of whiskey too  
You can paddle all around 'em  
In a big canoe  
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains_

"I walked down the road and before long I got to this place that was all sparkly and shiny. There were rivers of flirtinis and trees made of raspberry bootlaces that grew satsumas. All the birds sang songs by The Human League and there were hammocks made of pure silk. And there were clubs and discos everywhere too! It was amazing!" Howard couldn't help but laugh at Vince's interpretation of paradise. "Oi you, don't go laughing, it was one of my best dreams! And I have a lot of them, you know that!"

"I know, but it's just so you!" he said, still laughing. "Was the ground one of those color-changing disco floors?"

Vince looked down sheepishly, but with a small smile. "Yes." At that they both had to burst out laughing.

_In the Big Rock Candy Mountains,  
The jails are made of tin.  
And you can walk right out again,  
As soon as you are in.  
There ain't no short-handled shovels,  
No axes, saws or picks,  
I'ma goin' to stay  
Where you sleep all day,  
Where they hung the jerk  
That invented work  
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains_

"You know me too well, Howard! But I haven't even told you the best part."

"The birds sang Gary Numan too?"

"No!" he squealed. His face turned red and he shuffled closer to Howard, if that was even possible. "When I got there, you were there waiting for me."

Howard felt a warm surge of happiness go through him. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Vince said, happy at the way Howard seemed to glow when he said it. "It wouldn't be paradise without you." he whispered, making them bosh glow. "There was stuff there to make you happy too. There were tons of trees that grew jazz records and trumpets and streams of that ale you like so much. There were jazz clubs all over the place and stationary as far as the eye could see. And we climbed trees and danced all day and rested in the hammocks, just us. Our only form of work was having sex all the time."

"Sounds perfect." Howard said dreamily.

"You think that place really exists?" Vince asked childishly.

"Only in your head, Little Man." Howard chuckled. "But it would be nice to stumble about it someday."

"Yeah." Vince said, pillowing his head on his chest. "But for now, this is nice. More than nice."

"I'll have to agree." Howard said quietly, pulling Vince up for a kiss. Vince moaned into his mouth and pressed their bodies together, little shocks of pleasure dancing through them.

"Yeah." Vince breathed as they came up for air. "This is just fantastic."

_I'll see you all this coming Fall  
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains!_


	9. Aphrodisiac

Sorry again for the wait, been buuuusssyyyy!!!!! Anyway, this fic is borderline crack, but it also has some sexytime, just so you know. I think it turned out pretty good, so enjoy!

**Aphrodisiac by Bow Wow Wow**

_Take an a-a-aphrodisiac, don't do no-no-nothing, just relax  
Your ha-ha-heart goes pitter-pat, take an a-a-aphrodisiac_

"You sure this will work?" Bollo grunted.

"Yep!" Naboo said cheerily. "One dose of this and Vince won't even think about mucking about with the occult while we're at the Board meeting." He reached up into his silky sleeves and pulled out a small pink bottle. The label on it read "Aphrodite's Aphrodisiac-Guaranteed to Get Even the Ugliest of the Ugly Laid". He opened the bottle and poured a good-sized amount into a cup of tea that Vince had left on the coffee table. The drink fizzled for a second and a heart made of pink smoke rose out of it, smelling of exotic flowers. After a moment the drink returned to normal and looked like an innocent cup of tea again.

"This seems kind of wrong." Bollo grunted under his breath while making sure no one was coming into the room.

Naboo shrugged, "Well, it's his fault for leaving his drinks out."

"You're the one who let slip that there demon of fashion that he can summon."

"Shut up." Naboo said between clenched teeth. Suddenly they heard the sound of footsteps and Naboo quickly threw the bottle under the table, thankful that it didn't break. They resumed getting ready for the meeting just as Vince walked in.

"All right?" he greeted. "I thought you two would have set off by now."

"We just had a couple things to do." Naboo replied in his normal mellow tone. "If you're looking for your tea, it's right over there."

"Ah, cheers Naboo!" He picked up the mug and took a large gulp, making Naboo smirk and Bollo's eyes go shifty.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Naboo asked casually.

"Staying here with Howard and taking full advantage of having the flat to ourselves." he said wickedly.

"Just don't do it on the kitchen counter, okay?"

"Hey, that was only one time!" he said cheekily. Naboo rolled his eyes and headed to his carpet, smirking again as Vince took another drink of his tea. Vince watched them fly out of the flat and smiled. Naboo suspected that he would be too busy with Howard to summon that demon. Oh yes, he would keep him up all night, but first he planned to go shopping for a genius outfit with the fashion demon!

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About ten minutes later Vince had drained his mug and flipped through the latest Cheekbone. For reasons he didn't know his mind was a bit foggy and he couldn't concentrate very well. He drowsily used the loo and washed his mug out, but even these mundane tasks seemed to fog up his mind even more. He flopped on the couch and tried to rest his head. It was probably just some sort of weird headache. Howard would know what to do. When he came back from jazz night he could get him something for it. Howard...yes, Howard could hold him and run his hands all down his back and kiss his neck. Yeah, Howard would make him feel very nice. He noticed that he had started to sweat and he took his shirt off. He looked down and realized that he was also sporting a rather large erection. He moaned and lay down. What was up with him? He didn't know, but all that he knew was that he wanted Howard badly. All he could think of was being ravished by his jazzy boyfriend. He wanted to feel his heat against his, wanted him to kiss him, bite him, completely and utterly fuck his brains out. His erection was taking a mind of its own and was straining painfully against his black drainpipes. He kicked off his boots and took off the offending garment, leaving only his red boxer-briefs. Oh, Howard loved those. He flopped back on the couch and let out a moan of pure lust. He reached down and took his cock out of the underwear and started stroking it. He panted and started shaking violently as he stroked faster and faster...he stopped and covered himself up again. It wasn't enough, he needed Howard. He let the fever take him over as he waited for his love.

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"Skippity-be bop, do-wop..." Howard scatted happily. It had been a particuarly successful jazz night. He was also looking forward to having some alone time with Vince while Naboo and Bollo were off doing God knows what at a Board of Shaman meeting. He walked into the shop and took off his coat. "Vince?" he called out. The man in question stirred from his almost coma-like state and felt himself get even hotter. He lifted himself off the couch and stumbled a bit. Howard heard him and went up the stairs, concerned that he may have fallen down or broken something. "Vince?" he called out again. He almost fell down the stairs when Vince jumped on him, wrapping his legs around his waist and shoving his tongue in his mouth. For a moment Howard melted and kissed him back but then noticed that something seemed to be wrong. Vince's skin was burning hot, like he had a fever, and he was shaking like a leaf. He took Vince over to the couch and set him down, but as soon as he did Vince grabbed his shirt and violently pulled Howard on top of him. Howard pulled away once again, despite Vince clawing on him like Colobus the Crab. "Vince, calm down, I think you're sick!"

"Uh huh." Vince panted. "Make me feel better." he begged, starting to unbutton his shirt. Howard could tell that he was dazed by his voice and his pupils were so dilated that he could barely see the blue anymore. Then he noticed the small bottle under the coffee table. He read the label and immediately knew what was going on.

_Yesterday_

"_You know, Vince won't stop talking about that demon now." Howard said to Naboo as they were fixing tea._

"_Oh, don't worry." Naboo said calmly."I'm planning on giving Vince something that'll distract him."_

"_What, like money so he can go to Topshop? Because that's just going to encourage him to raise that demon even more so he has a shopping partner."_

"_Nah, funds are too tight for any pay raises. But it's good. You'll see." the small man said, calmly walking away._

Oh, Jesus. Howard thought that Naboo would give him a new mirror or a bag of sweets or something. He'd drugged him? For a moment he was furious, but then Vince ripped off his shirt as he'd gotten frustrated with the buttons and wasted no time in unzipping his pants and reaching in. Howard growled and pinned Vince to the couch. After all, the only way to get an aphrodisiac out of your system was to do it the way God intended.

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"Oi, Saboo!"

"What d'you want, you plum preserve?"

"Allright, cool it, I just came to pay you back for that aphrodisiac I bought off you!"

"Ah, so you kept your word for once, eh Naboo? Told ya it was good stuff."

"This is an outrage, you stole that aphrodisiac from my personal collection! That money should be going to me!"

"Shut your face, you overgrown hemorrhoid! It's not like any amount of that stuff would help YOU in the intimacy department anyway!"

"How dare you, I get more arse in one day than you do in a year!"

"You don't even have any parts as far as I can see! How can you?"

"You don't know my reproductive system, it's under me tentacles! Looks just like one of them except a foot longer!"

"Oh, you are so full of shit!"

"I am not! I reel the ladies in, they don't even know it's coming and then bang, I come in for the kill! They don't even know what hits them 'cause it blends in with me tentacles!"

"Ugh, why do I even bother acknowledging you?"

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Vince was moving up and down on Howard in pure bliss, practically screaming when Howard pulled him down and took the dominant position. He raked his fingernails down Howard's back hard enough to leave scratches. Howard moaned loudly and spilled himself into Vince, the smaller man losing control right after him. He pulled out of Vince and lay down beside him, expecting him to settle down. Instead he kept panting and clutched onto Howard like a spider monkey. "Again." he whimpered.

Howard's eyes widened. "Vince, I may be a man of action, but I can't start again that fast."

"No, no, more..." he whined, then passed out cold next to him. Howard thought that he should check the back of the bottle for the side effects.

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It was eight in the morning when Naboo and Bollo returned. They found Howard making himself a cup of tea in the kitchen. He looked exhausted and was covered in bite marks and scratches. "Looks like the aphrodisiac worked." Naboo said casually.

"Yeah, about that stuff..."

"Don't thank me, it wasn't a big deal."

"Let me finish. It turns out that one dose is a teaspoon. Judging from the amount left in the bottle, you gave Vince six doses. He has a 104 degree fever, can barely walk, and is so delirious that he sometimes can't even remember where he is or who he is."

Naboo and Bollo looked at each other and then to the floor. "Sorry about that." Naboo said quietly.

"I never said you had to be sorry." he said, sitting on the couch. "Actually, I didn't mind it at all. I just want to make sure that he's going to be okay."

Naboo and Bollo sighed in relief. "Yeah, he'll be fine, it'll wear off eventually and he'll go back to normal. And you're welcome." Just then Vince slumped in. If Howard looked bad then Vince looked like he had been through a war.

"Owww, my head hurts." he moaned.

"Hey Vince, why so glum? We heard you had a great time last night." Naboo said cheekily, Bollo laughing.

"Huh? Do I know you? Oh, is that you Naboo, Bollo? Didn't recognize you. Mmm, my head..." he mumbled. He crawled onto Howard's lap and nuzzled his neck. "You can make me feel better, can't you Howard?" he asked breathily. He started to shower Howard's neck in kisses and bites and pushed him back on the couch.

"Yeah, could you work the stuff out of his system in your own room?" Naboo asked as he and Bollo shielded their eyes.

"C'mon, you little minx." Howard sighed, picking him up and taking him to their room.


End file.
